This week the internet's been going wild over a video from the 1996 Democratic National Convention in which Hillary Clinton-the world's first politician-as-.gif- does the Macarena. The Macarena's ruined their lives and yet they can't stop trying to master it, as if conquering a novelty dance craze from the half-remembered 90s will rid them of the demons they've harbored since the last days of the Major government. They look anxious, unsure of themselves, genuinely terrified that they've flipped their right hand rather than their left. Go to a wedding, barn dance, annulment, christening, vehicle tax registration confirmation bash, or all you can eat buffet completion celebration anywhere in the world, and you'll see a swarm of people still not exactly sure how to the the Macarena even though they've been aware of the Macarena longer than they've had the internet or quinoa. You've never escaped the Macarena because the Macarena has become as much a part of your life as faint memories of Blue Peter appeals, Phil Jupitus, and duckweed. You're making love to a beloved partner and it's there. You're trying to pick a decent pear in Aldi and it's there. You're sat in the car waiting for your mum to pay for petrol and it's there. It eats away at you when you least expect it. That sense of shame's never really left you, has it? Twenty years on-somehow two entire decades have drifted into the ether since the smash hit dance sensation rocketed up the UK charts-you're still haunted by it. You're back there in the school hall, velcro flapping in the breeze, the faint smell of baked sausages mingles with old netballs, and you're stumbling over your own feet, failing to get the Macarena right. ![]() ![]() You're back there in the classroom terrified to the point of tears that your friend is going to tell the teacher that you called them an old fogey and that teacher is going to tell the headmaster and the headmaster's going to tell your parents and your parents are going to tell Father Christmas. You're back there in the playground, with dogshit on your shoes and glue between your fingers, chasing girls with sticks, falling face-first into a puddle. I bet you can remember every awful, embarrassing, scarring thing that happened to you when you were six years old. If you're now panicking because you've forgotten the "Macarena", or if you're one of these young people who were born in the '90s, never fear, I've made a handy GIF guide to teach you how to do it: 1.Do you remember being six years old? Of course you do. I suppose there was the Spice Girls "Stop" a few years later, but it wasn't really as universal as the "Macarena". And come to think of it, it was probably the last time a group dance really bought people together. Birthday parties, school dances, wedding. It's funny to watch people recall a dance that we basically did in our sleep during the '90s. Well, I didn't know them so well in the first place, other than the titular, "Heeeeeeey, Macarena!" I literally just sat at my desk recalling the moves and I'm pleased to say, I got them exactly right, even down to the "Nutbush" style jump and turn to the side. I mean, if what you judge superiority on is the ability to remember the dance moves to Los Del Rio's "Macarena". If you think you can remember all the moves to "Macarena", try and do them now, as this Distractify video of '90s kids trying to remember the "Macarena" dance will either leave you feeling forgetful or highly superior.
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